Accepting Death

Each Tuesday, I'm reflecting on how aspects of our lives and society relate to happiness and how we can increase our happiness. This week, I'm having a look at death. Yes, it's scary but accepting it's normality can help us relax and be happy.

Yesterday, we sat on the porch having dinner. In the tree right in front of our house, my son spotted a possum. It was being attacked by birds (minas can be vicious). I guess it fancied some eggs.

It tried to escape and slid down the tree — more like falling, really. I was considering catching it when it fell the last bit. There are big roots, a curb, and the street below. Whichever it hit, it was bad. The possum dragged himself under a parked car.

The kids and I inspected the situation. It didn’t look good. I called Sydney Wildlife Rescue (amazing volunteers — I started donating after this experience). They were so helpful. The lovely lady on the phone said she’d send someone.

We tried to get the little ringtail into a shoebox, but it hid under the car. So, we gave it some apple (don’t do that — carrot is better) and water, and went inside. My daughter was sure the little bugger would be okay.

Shortly after, Michael, the volunteer rescuer, arrived. The possum had disappeared, but since it couldn’t run, it couldn’t be far. We found him in a bush nearby. Michael inspected the little thing and showed us that its hind legs had no reaction — likely a spinal injury.

I asked what would happen. Michael said he’d take it to the vet, but it would receive the forever-sleep injection.

We went inside. My kids both showed anger in different ways. We talked — about the possum and its chances, about my daughter’s plan to feed it (we leave for a four-week holiday on Friday), and about the sleep injection: how it would make the possum sleep, its heart slowing until it stopped. I spelt it out for them — the little beast would die.

We also talked about other injections (no, they don’t all make you die). Then we went to bed and cuddled. None of them woke with nightmares. (I sleep in the middle — I’d know.)

Talking About Death

Kids are surprisingly okay with talking about death. We’ve talked about other animals, people, war, family members. The discussion is guided by curiosity and learning. What does that mean? How does it happen?

My daughter decided what she wants to be in the next life. It changes. They both use words like kill and die in everyday contexts. Death is normal for them.

Of course, they don’t have the full abstract thinking function of their prefrontal cortex yet. But maybe that’s why kids can talk fairly easily about death and explore what it is and means.

Death Is Normal

Adults don’t like to talk about death. Yet death is the one sure thing in life. We always seek safety and security, but nothing is safe or secure.

Have a happy week!

Anja