Dear Reader,

Today, I decided to avoid world improvement rants. Since I also decided to let my local pub cook my dinner (steak night!), today's newsletter was all set: community. Community is very important in the happiness field!

Our locals

There is something nice and comforting about our local places, isn't there? It's the sense of belonging to a community and it makes us happy! Right now, I'm enjoying a glass of bubbly after my steak, appreciating the balmy late summer evening and the mingled conversations and laughs around me. When I ordered at the bar, I indicated table 50 as my table. When I went outside, I saw that the table was reserved, joined an elderly couple and then moved to an empty table. No need to chase down my order, Kat who has been working here for years, spotted me and worked out that I moved without me doing anything. She knows that the steak without sauce is most likely mine. It feels nice to be looked after.

Witnessing life events

I didn't visit the pub much for longer stretches over the last few years. But I've regularly spent time at my local cafe. The barista Anthony and I have heated discussions about politics. They are not heated because we disagree but because we agree so much. I'd say he's anarchist (pacifist) as well. When it comes to Australian elections, I let him catch me up so that I can make an informed decision when voting. (I avoid being on top of the news because it stresses me, so I need reliable sources to summarize the relevant information.)

Anthony also witnessed a lot of my life. The day of my divorce, I went for a coffee and suddenly broke into tears (didn't expect that!). All through chemo and successive treatments, I went for a coffee before or after treatment. He even witnesses the kids growing up since he's been there since Erik was 1 (2019). And yet, I don't know his last name. I know about his girlfriend Fiona, her career, music taste and worldviews. Never met her though. I don't have his phone number, Facebook or other contact details. If he'd left tomorrow, there is no way to contact him. It wouldn't make sense although I'd really miss our conversations. Our relationship is tied to the Cafe. It's a somewhat deep connection but then also not.

Where everybody knows your name/shopping preferences

The bakery staff where I had been for years barely remembered that I like my bread uncut. For over a year now, Emma and Tim have worked there and I've finally made a personal connection. When I quickly run to get bread in the morning, I love to have a quick chat with Emma or Tim, just so it fits between serving me and the next customer. I have almost got them to not put my bread into paper bags (have my bag) as it's so automatic for them. They also usually ask if I want it cut. But we always laugh about their automatism and my eccentric waste-avoiding and shopping preferences. Writing this down makes it look less important but it feels warm and fuzzy to me.

Community

Community describes more than neighbours, other school parents/gym members/dog owners or work colleagues. Indeed, shop owners, baristas and shop attendants are a huge part of our community as my three examples above show. The connection usually breaks once they change jobs or we move away. Still, some of these connections are quite deep because it's easier to share stuff with people who are “not really“ part of our lives.

Since humans thrive with connections, the community can be a huge happiness maker - for me it definitely is. In Sydney, I wouldn't live anywhere else than in Redfern because of the variety and depth of these connections. They give me the feeling of being rooted although the people giving me that feeling mostly don't even live in Redfern.

Yes, we need deep connections with family and friends. I call those love connections. But we also need those others who make our everyday life a bit warmer and friendlier.

Do you nourish and enjoy your local shop, cafe, restaurant and bar community?

Have a happy week!

Anja